The feast of the Holy Family we celebrate today is actually a part of the celebration of the Incarnation of Jesus.

The Savior took flesh of the Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit and even though this miracle bypassed natural means of conception it could not bypass the matrix into which all children should be born and raised – the family.

If we cannot speak of a fish without reference to water, it is even more unthinkable to speak of a child without reference to a family.

And so Jesus was born into a human family, just as it is the unchangeable plan of God that every one of his children should be born into a family. And let me hasten to add, not a family with two fathers or two mothers because that is not a family, but a family with a father and a mother.

Family is not an option for us as humans; it is a necessity, somehow written into our DNA. How many sociological and psychological tests have shown this! A child grows to maturity, in all its many dimensions, most effortlessly in a normal, loving, human family.

No wonder the family is one of Satan’s prime targets. If he can destroy the family he destroys the basic building block of growth for individual human beings as well as the basic building block of society. Let us resist his attempts to do this wherever and whenever we can.

Jesus was born not only into a family but into a holy family. A holy family is a family which has God at its conscious centre.

As we saw in the Bible readings, from the moment of conception of Jesus, the life of Mary and Joseph became even more centered on God who had now entered their lives in bodily human form. Both took up positions of profound reverence. Mary did not speak to Joseph of her pregnancy; she considered this to be God’s prerogative.

Joseph, noticing Mary’s pregnancy and yet, fully convinced of her purity, did not think himself worthy to speak to her about it. Both spouses humbly left to God the ‘unfolding’ of the mystery he had introduced between them, and God did not disappoint.

The Entrance Antiphon of today’s Mass says: The shepherds hastened to Bethlehem, where they found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger.

We are told what the baby was doing; it was lying in the manger. This has a prophetic significance. A manger is a feeding trough. Mary’s infant was already teaching us who he was – food for the world.

But Mary and Joseph, what were they doing? They were busy simply being with Jesus – like the first Apostles called ‘to be with him’.

For nine months Mary had been carrying this extraordinary child, conceived by the Holy Spirit, in her womb. Joseph had almost left her because of this child. It was only the message of an angel that had stopped him: Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit.

Now they could see with their very own eyes what was ‘in her’ – an infant, a son, who was to save his people from their sins.

How they must have wondered! How they must have longed to see his face, and now that he was here they could ‘read’ the Word of God in his tiny face.

The shepherds, too, were eagerly seeking the face of the Christ. They wanted to see the Messiah, the Promised One. They hastened to Bethlehem. I’m glad they hastened. It would have been unseemly for them to dawdle along the way. The only fitting way, really, for us to seek the Lord is to hasten.

So what did they find when they got to Bethlehem? They found Mary and Joseph and the baby. They were seeking Jesus the Savior but they found Mary and Joseph too.

There is a Christianity which would push aside Mary and Joseph and focus totally on Jesus. This is not Catholic Christianity. Don’t ever be misled by people who say Mary and Joseph ‘distract’ from Jesus or ‘take away’ from him. When we seek Jesus we find him with Mary, and Joseph – the Holy Family!

Jesus came to earth as a human child, in a human family, with human friends and foes. God wanted it that way. Jesus, too, wanted a family, he needed a family, he had a family and he does not expect us to brush them away. The face of Christ our Savior is the face of a man standing between his parents.

A holy family is a family which has God at its conscious centre. It is a family in which all the members, including the children, seek out the will of God as their primary goal in life. In their marriage, in their parenting, in the orientation of their individual hearts this ‘seeking’ was, in Mary and Joseph, utterly, awe-inspiringly habitual.

The Holy Family is the model for every family and yet, how far from this ideal has modern secular society not drawn us! All too often God has been granted but the merest foothold, even in Catholic families. It would not be too much to state that today Catholic family life is in deep crisis. The conscious centre of family life today is all too often the ideals held up to it by a Godless, materialistic, individualistic society, which is itself in deep crisis.

What can be done? Well, there are lots and lots of different levels at which something can be done but there is just no avoiding the fact that the only place we can begin is with ourselves. Forget the husband, forget the wife, forget mom and dad; I can only start with me.

And where do I start? Perhaps St Paul offers the best answer in today’s second reading. It’s a request addressed today personally and individually to you, and only you give it the real thought it needs so that it can open up a way forward for you.

As Jesus honored his family so he wants us to honor them. The shepherds hastened to Bethlehem, where they found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger.

A famous mystic once wrote on this subject from another angle when he complained about those who ignore the Old Testament and just concentrate on the New Testament. As he said, at that time: I don’t want a Jesus who is not speaking with Moses and Elijah. In our turn we can say: I don’t want a Jesus who is not with Mary and Joseph.

This infant lying in the manger is the Son of Mary but also the father of his own family – a family made up of all those who were to believe in him. Even from the cradle he began to call this family to himself, beginning with Mary and Joseph beside the manger, and then the shepherds, and then the wise men, and then you!

Do you think Jesus would be pleased if others pushed you aside in order to get close to him? I don’t think so. I think Jesus wants you to be in the picture with him, along with all the countless souls he has washed clean in his Blood and now calls his brothers and sisters.

We join him today as family around the altar on which he will become present and feed us with his Body and Blood. There are many Catholics who will not come to Mass this Sunday. They would sweep us away and say ‘We want only Jesus – we can pray to him at home’.

This is not true Christianity! As Jesus wanted to be found in his family in the stable of Bethlehem so he wants to be found in his family of faith in the Church. Those who want Jesus but not his Church are not fully Christian.

So now, “Let us pray, as the family of God, who share in his life.”